'I Have a Rash' and other assorted things I don't really want to talk about.
I went to the Dr. last week to talk about an annoying rash. I had already diagnosed myself it as either Shingles or something caused by a poisonous plant my leg must have brushed up against while hiking (walking) in Arizona. I went to the Dr. to 'make sure'. Of course I was wrong, (I mean that is what the Dr. said anyway) but that is beside the point. I just hated talking about the rash. It became obvious I had something causing me to itch my leg until it bled most days. It was something, that if you were around me enough, cause you to notice I began to pull up my pant leg to scratch at it...no matter where or what I was doing. It was perhaps not the most professional thing to be doing...but honestly it really itched. However saying you have a rash implies something that isn't good. It suggests contagiousness and perhaps something you did that was wrong. Either way, it is yucky to see someone's rash. It is even yuckier to have someone talk about it.
I also do not want to talk about any other physical ailment that suggests any type of body fluid oozing or noticeable rash. I mean it. Why people insist on sharing their health related, body fluid releasing anything, is beyond me. Eyes are another thing I cannot talk about. Any problems with (the midwest term) 'Gunk' has got to stop being discussed. I get it. You have an eye infection! Please take care of it and no need to share...words or anything you touched, really.
As I get older I notice we talk more about our ailments. I join right in...but I have been noticing that some people share waaaaay too much of the details with us when talking about what is ailing them. There are times when I think I might get sick. There are times when I hold my throat so I don't.
Those are some of the the obvious things I don't like to talk about. There are other things that make the list as well. But often times are not as comfortable to talk about. I am certain I am not alone when I say that we don't always like to talk about feeling left out, or becoming unable to do certain things we used to be able to do. When I feel tired and have no energy to accomplish those thing I used to be able to do with little to no energy, now takes more out of me and I don't want others to notice. And I don't like it. Or the times when I am no longer the person someone might ask the important question to...I feel irrelevant.
I also do not like to talk about the fact that I have lived more than I will...and how sometimes that is scary. I feel more vulnerable to disease or body parts failing; especially my memory. I watch others who walk before me and I see it in them as well. There is a sense of knowing. Knowing we have entered into that part of life described as the 'Twilight Years.' Which, as I think of it, I like the name. There is nothing as beautiful as the end of the day giving way to the night in a blaze of colors, glory and awe. That is how I wish to live my life now. I want every day to be a blaze of glory. To live in all of the beautiful colors...not just one.
As I reflect I realize I really do not like to talk about rashes, but maybe I need to talk more about how to live this time of my life. Really live it. I can only imagine that others would rather talk about living our life in full color than a rash any day. In gratitude....