I'd Rather Have Pink Eye!
If you are like me you'll understand when I say I would rather have pink eye than toot my own horn! Especially as I age.
I am paralyzed by the thoughts of having too much attention thrown on me; or worse, trying to charge money for my services (coaching, speaking). After all, shouldn't I just want to help others and why would I charge money for me to help? I am an introvert by nature. Though if you see me in public, provided I am not hiding behind the produce, I will come off as extroverted. The truth is I can carry on a conversation and will likely very much enjoy the conversation. It's just I am always wondering if I am able to keep the conversation going! I know people who can muster, what seems to be out of a hat, wonderful conversational topics. Perhaps there is a class out there I have missed?
I have talked with other women and it appears i am not alone in my 'I would rather have pink eye' dilemma. Many of us do not feel comfortable sharing our skill set; much less ask for money to do so. Many of us feel our worth is lessening as we age. We do not feel as relevant as we used to...and it feels like we are losing something. In my world of coaching and speaking, each female presenter tells me they struggle with what to charge. Some will say they simply took the plunge and gave a larger number and hope they still get hired places. Some will say they ask what the hiring agent is willing to pay and cross their fingers it is worth their while. It's hard. I think women especially have struggled with this. Add aging to it and the feeling becomes even stronger. We have not typically been seen as equal to men regarding pay and authority of subjects. Our self-imposed lack of confidence in our skill set creates even more anxiety for those of us who already struggle to see our value or worth.
I find I can always sell someone else. In fact, I love trying to sell the abilities of others...it comes natural. If I think you are good at something, I am all over it. I can launch you into whatever area you are interested in and help you find your worth AND tell others easily. I get excited for you and will carry that excitement for others to see. For myself? Well I will certainly tell you how I am good at something followed with, "I mean sometimes I can be good at it. I can always do better. Always open to suggestions". What is it with us not being able to simply say: "I am really good at this!" And be done with it? I once told my family I was pretty funny. This got a laugh (seemed appropriate), but now it is our gag line for many conversations. Truth: I really think I can be funny...now I wish I hadn't said anything. UGH!
I met with another women today. Someone I hold in highest esteem. She is bright, caring, wonderful with words and by golly if she didn't share my same concern...we both have a hard time with acknowledgements! I was a little taken aback as I feel this women has so much to offer others...and I told her so. She responded with, "And so do you, Kim." Huh...maybe it is true we need to see ourselves through the eyes of others sometimes.
Moving forward I am committed to allowing myself some comfort in believing I am good at many things. To say this does not mean I am bragging or even have the corner on the proverbial corner. Rather, it will be a challenge to myself; for myself. I offer you the same challenge. Let's start to share out gifts. Let's celebrate all of the skill sets we have to offer. And...let's cheer each other on. No judging. No negative energy given. When we lift up another, we lift up ourself!