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Tired, Salty and Bored


I mean this isn't my best description for myself, but this is how I have felt lately. Not every day...but enough to notice it and well, now write about it!

I have recently left my job of 24 years. I have worked in education for over 30 and at stayed at my last job for the last 24 years of that time. Not to go into the whole story behind this leaving...but suffice it to say I did not plan to leave my job at this time. Nor did I plan to be having this much free time. And I certainly did not plan to have bouts of feeling pissed off occasionally. I mean really pissed off.

I expect that when you leave something you have done every day for so long you will have a sense of 'now what?' after leaving your daily routine behind. And it is absolutely true for me. I now realize I need structure. I need to know when breaks are to be taken or reports and phone calls are to be made. I mean I have always known this about myself, but here I am faced with this knowledge in a way that feels like I am licking the frosting off of my face and saying "No, I didn't eat the last piece of cake."

Ok... now what? I can't keep blaming my feeling of woe on others. It happened. I was mis-treated.

I made a decision to leave...to take care of myself. And now...and now it is time to figure out what to do with all my 'free' time. So I made a list.

Free Time List:

Get up early

Exercise every day

Meditate

Practice Yoga

Eat healthy

Take photography classes

Complete household projects

Read more books

Give up coffee

Give up sleep aides

Write another book

Increase speaking gigs

Sell goods at a farmer's market

Write more in general

Take a healthy eating cooking class

Actual Free Time List:

Get up before 9:30

Walk the dog when the weather is above 40

Thinking about about stupid stuff a little less often

Bought a yoga mat and HAVE taken three classes

Bought what I thought were healthy 'bites'; turned out to be smaller cookies with oatmeal in them

Need to get camera out of closet...but I do think about it quite a bit

Made a list with husband...feeling progress there

Have, indeed, read three books in last month

Drinking coffee as I write this

Need to refill prescription

Actually have an outline in progress for new book

Praying, trying and actually reaching out to others about me speaking

Have application saved in 'Bookmarks' on laptop

Thus this entry today

Reviewed 'Recipes' on my Pinterest Board

We all spin. We all have good intentions. And we all need to feel productive. Feel relevant.

Today I committed to seeing my strengths, my abilities and not confuse my feeling like I am spinning with I have nothing more to offer...because I do.


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